Steve Griffin chronicles his journey from leaving the Pentecostal church where he was raised, experiencing Calvinism and finally finding his home in Anabaptism.
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Steve Griffin is the pastor of Bellwood Mennonite Church in Milford, Nebraska, a congregation affiliated with Central Plains Mennonite Conference. He has a Doctorate of Ministry from Southwest Bible College & Seminary, and he enjoys reading, writing, singing and playing guitar. His strong conviction is that Christ is to be the foundation and focal point in all matters of faith and conduct. Steve’s singular passion is to encourage one and all to show the world a Jesus-looking God. He and his wife, Shelly, have three grown children and four grandchildren.
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I was born into an extended family of zealous and sincere Missouri Pentecostals. The preaching was in ALL CAPS and the music was in the key of loud. My earliest memories consist of Sunday School and three worship services per week — and when the Holy Ghost “really moved” there was no sermon, just a lot of talking in tongues and other spiritual manifestations.
“Jesus Only” Pentecostalism was in my blood.
We were known as “Jesus Only,” because our denomination proudly denied orthodox Trinitarianism. But this was only one of our problems.
There were things other than our Modalism that were troubling. If someone didn’t speak in tongues — at least once! — then that person couldn’t be saved. If someone wasn’t baptized the right way — by immersion and “in the name of Jesus” — that person couldn’t be saved. If someone wasn’t living a “holy” life that person couldn’t, well, you get the idea.
As a teen, I had questions — so many questions, but none of them asked, of course! But unasked questions rarely go away.
In my very early 20s, the church-whispering began: Steve is in danger of leaving the truth. That’s what happens when you go to Bible college …
The truth is I was leaving …
But I wasn’t leaving the truth. Nor was I walking away empty-handed.
What did I take with me? This tradition taught me devotion to God, respect for the Bible, hunger for truth, commitment to the local church, desire to serve.
I knew the journey would be long, and I didn’t pack light!
Clearly, despite all the errors of belief and practice, I’d been given much to be thankful for. And though I couldn’t stay, I understood how incredibly blessed I was for having been there.
As I left the church of my upbringing, I did so with excitement, hope, trepidation and a little sadness. That’s the way leaving home usually goes.
I continued to study theology at Southwest Bible College & Seminary and began a 25-year pastorate at a non-denominational church. Leaving the emotionalism of my upbringing, I sought refuge in the intellectualism of Calvinism. I suppose it was sort of like sleepy driving. I escaped one ditch by overcorrecting and careening into another one.
All the while something — or was it someone — was stirring inside me.
For some reason, I decided to revisit an author I had come to know my freshman year of Bible college. This was out of character for me, because this man was clearly not a Calvinist. Nevertheless, I walked away from my bookshelf with C.S. Lewis — a long-neglected favorite of mine. Though many of my Calvinist friends labeled Lewis as a heretic, once again he was feeding my soul.
The theological genie was out of the bottle.
Having been raised in emotionalism, and then having gravitated toward intellectualism, I was learning to appreciate the richness, the fullness, the wellness of a marriage between heart and head. I was moving toward wholeness. The Lord had me in green pastures of Anabaptism before I knew exactly what that was.
All I can say is, I was being captivated by the words, works and ways of Jesus.
Not to put too fine of a Calvinistic point on it … I felt irresistibly drawn to Anabaptist teachers and authors. In fall 2017, I met my first two Mennonites in Normal, Illinois: Michael Danner and Doug Luginbill. I wanted to know: Is there a place in Mennonite Church USA for a guy like me?
In about an hour, these two gracious men changed the course of my life. When I jubilantly arrived home, my wife, Shelly, offered this observation: “I think you finally found your tribe.”
As it turns out, my venture out of Pentecostalism, through Calvinism, and into Anabaptism isn’t as unique as I’d imagined. I have fellow travelers! And while I know so much more and less than I used to, this I believe: If we follow Jesus, we never trek alone.
The views and opinions expressed in this blog belong to the author and are not intended to represent the views of the MC USA Executive Board or staff.
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